February 5, 2010

Dealing with DCS

Little Prince is stilling thinking he is going to get flushed down the toilet if he falls in. He still goes by himself but the toilet he uses, most of the time, we've had to put the potty training toilet seat back on. Which means I have to go across the house to use another bathroom or take the seat off every time I have to go!!

Last week we took the twins up for a visit with "mom". It was at the DCS (dept of child services) since "mom" doesn't have a place to have visits with them. Anyway, DH and I dropped them off then we wasted time around town. We drove through down town since DH had never been in that part of town. It's a pretty little town with old store fronts and little shops. The visit was suppose to be a hour and a half long. When we got back to pick them up, DH ran in to get them (I sat out with the other kids). Soon he came back out without the babies. I asked him what was going on.."they (social-workers) are walking around the office, holding the babies". He went in a few minutes later to get them. He came back out again without the babies! "What's going on?" I asked. He told me they (three social workers) basically attacked him with accusing us of not taking care of the babies. Bouncy has had a rash on the side of her face for weeks. I asked her doctor about it during a visit in early January. He said it was probably an allergy but didn't suggest anything. Sunshine had a rash around her chin from the baby food I gave her the day before the visit. The DCS workers said it was from our cats! Who ever heard of a topical allergy to cats without a respiratory issue?? DH was so mad but was able to keep his mouth shut. The last time he came out without the babies, I told him to get in the van and I would go in and get the babies. I was NOT happy and I'm sure they talked about it after we left. I went right in their, told them it was not a cat allergy and informed them I HAD taken the babies to the doctor. The old bat supervisor asked me if the cat is around the babies when they are sleeping because we know that is a big issue..I said "no, the cat doesn't like to be around them at all". Did she think the cat was going to "suck" the breath out of them? DH thought for sure they would have the babies moved to another home.

I called the babies therapist right after we got on the road. I told Lindsey what had happened and she said we shouldn't worry about it and that they wouldn't move the babies. She also told me I don't have to contact the mom and it would be better if I just emailed herself about the babies, she would forward the emails to the case worker, who then could let the mom know. I spoke with her about the whole rash thing and how we were basically accused of not taking care of the babies. She suggested I called their pediatrician for a referral (which is what the DCS supervisor "suggested").

I called their doctors office the next day to get a referral. Jack was very help and called me right back after speaking with the doctor. The pediatrician does not usually give referrals for babies so young. The doctor also said that it is probably eczema and that babies get that a lot. She will look at them when I have to take them in for their second Synigus shot. In the mean time, Bouncy had an appointment this week for a Neonatal followup with a doctor I happen to work with at the hospital. Sunshine didn't have anything on the books but I took her along anyway. It worked out fine because the doctor actually needed to see her too. They are both doing good but Sunshine lost about a half pound since the beginning of January. Dr D suggested I increase the "strength" of her formula to equal 24 cals per ounce. It takes her a while to eat the whole bottle and sometimes we have to give her the last half like an hour later. Dr D also looked at their little faces. It was diagnosed as Eczema! haha DCS take that! She suggested I pick up some Eucrine cream and put it on their faces regularly. I'm also to put Neosporin on Bouncy's face because it looked like it could have a touch of infection. Their little face look better already and it's only been a couple days.

The babies mom can't seem to make up her mind if she is going to give them up or keep them. Or maybe she has made up her mind and is just working the system. We have a new case worker (we'll call her Charity). Charity wants to have a meeting next week to discuss the plan and to set up visitations twice a week for about three hours at a time. How are we going to spend that much time away from home? If one visit is down near our home, they can visit with the babies at the facility and I can get other things done like take Princess to school and take care of the other kids responsibilities. But if we have three hour visits near "mom's home", I have two hours of drive time and then three hours to waste around that little town. I don't know what to do besides suggest that the time up there be shorter and the time down here be longer, or that babies mom come and get the babies in the morning and bring them back later in the day. We are going to be getting more children in the house and then what are we suppose to do?


  1. You should just deal with it.

  2. Since it is the agency's responsibility to get the children to their visits (not yours), they should either pick up the child or pay you extra for transportation, etc.

  3. I was going to delete LK's comment but I want people to see how ignorant people can be.

  4. Why would you say that LK is ignorant? I don't get it. All he said was just deal with it. Really, what other choice do you have besides give the babies back? Ignorance comes in many different forms. I know more about CPS and the foster care system than I ever wanted to know. CPS is corrupt and so is foster care. If you want to call me ignorant, then apparently YOU haven't done very much research yourself. There's 2 sides to every story (no, make that 3) so why should I take your side over the bio parents or social workers? You tell us what you want us to hear and that does not necessarily mean it's accurate. All you have to do is Google these names...

    Marcus Fiesel
    Haley Gray
    Adrianna Payne
    Tyler Payne
    Hassani Campbell
    Krya Zabuh
    Trymain Peters

    Just to name a few children killed at the hands of their foster care providers. I can give you like 10,000 more names if you want me to. I can also give you a couple of names where CPS failed to protect...

    Danieal Kelly
    Emma Thompson

    Those two are very recent deaths of children where CPS was involved. The social workers in charge of the Danieal Kelly case are now being charged. Please don't tell us that we're ignorant. We are not. Way too many children are removed from safe, loving homes because they bring in the big bucks from ASFA, Title IV-E funding, Medicaid, Medicaid fraud and child support. In many cases, the children also receive WIC, food stamps, free therapy, free clothes and toys (because God knows the foster carers aren't going to part with THEIR money for it), and social security/disability payments.

    Oh, I know this won't stay up long and I know exactly what you're going to say back because I've heard it all before...

    I do it for love. I don't make any money. I barely get enough to feed them. I buy their clothes and toys. I don't get reimbursed for it. You get anywhere from $600 to $900 per month/per child. You have at least 2 foster children. At the very least you make $1,200 a month, not including the food stamps, etc. That's more than most biological parents make combined each month.

    I've been on tons of foster blogs where they're all pissed off because they haven't received their reimbursement check and it's, God forbid, one day late!

    So we're NOT ignorant. We've done our research. We devote a lot of time, effort and energy into raising awareness. Already CPS is turning on you, accusing YOU of abuse when you claim it's not true. Well, if they're lying about you then what makes you so sure they're not lying about the child abuse allegations against the children's real parents? It's like rescuing a snake and then being surprised when it bites you. What exactly do you expect?

  5. Wow...someone took this a little to far (above comment),from what I read I thought you were just asking what you should do about the TIME constants because you would be out of the house for 5 hours 2 days a week and you had other kids to think about. At no point (from what I read) did you ask what to do about DCS judging you, you were just posting your experaince and you did "deal with it" you took them to the doctor. Did I miss something?

    As for the "Just deal with it" comment because its typed, it can be taken in so many different ways. It depends on the way you read it..so the poster should have added more so you could get an idea of what he/she was saying.

    Keep up the good work! Stay strong!!..and remember a couple of bad apples can make the whole bunch look bad! Please don't let that shake you, your doing good work!