Time flies but not all fun

A lot has happened in the last year. Probably the biggest one was Little Prince and Princess have our last name now. Although Little Prince doesn't know that he ever had a different last name and Princess wouldn't comprehend it. We kept their original first names but changed their middle names. In fact, Little Prince picked his own middle name from his favorite movie. I'm still nervous about posting true names and pictures. At least until we are not doing foster care anymore.

Now for updates with foster children. Kaykay "left" our house three hours before she turned 18 (beginning of 2011). It was a big mistake on her part. Because she left foster care before 18, she lost her medicaid and any college money she would have had. But she also lost the support she was getting by staying with us. I will always hope it wasn't planned on her part but I will never be sure of it.

October 2010 we took in two familiar faces. The placement was two little girls that we had for respit when we first got our license. For the blog, I named them "Cuddly" and "Curly". They were two years older then when we first met them and had way different personalities from each other. Cuddly wasn't very huggable anymore. She had picked up bad habits such as lying. Curly was better in some aspects but we could tell she was going to need a lot of therapy (which I'm sure she has not received). The girls stayed with us for about four months. They had been in foster care for almost two years before they were returned to their parents. I know you are probably thinking happy thoughts but believe me their parental rights should have been terminated along time ago. The parents didn't do one thing that the court had ordered them to do to be able to get those girls back. I just don't understand what happened with that case. I often wonder how the girls are doing.

It was a few months later before we got anymore calls. The next placements we took in were two sisters. The oldest turned four with days of coming to us. She was super smart and knew it. Her and Little Prince got along like "peas in a pod". She could be a little stinker but we very much enjoyed her. She really missed her parents and that's what made it harder on her than the other kids we had. For privacy reasons we will call her Queenie. Luckily for Queenie, and us, we were able to call her mother every night so she could say "good-night". Queenie was a beautiful little girl with long blond hair and blue eyes. She acted a lot older than she was because I think she was the one who took care of her mother instead of the other way around. Queenie's little sister was the first medically fragile, physically handicapped child we have ever had. We'll call her Anne.

Anne was two years younger than Queenie and had Cerebral Palsy. Anne also had a feeding tube and had to be fed every four hours. This next bit of information is something that could discourage future foster parents, but please don't let it. Everything works out. The afternoon I got the call I picked the girls up from DCS mid-afternoon. They told me that Anne needed to be fed through her feeding tube and they had formula from her home. The mother was in no shape to explain how to feed her. Including how much or how often. I figured it was no big deal, I would call the doctor when I got home. Well, I could not get a hold of "her" doctor or anyone else to tell me how to take care of her. I called everyone I knew from nurses to friends. No one had an answer. I even talked to a doctor on call for her doctor, he "couldn't" tell me because he didn't have the chart in front of him. Finally, I found a number on the an invoice that came with the feeding bags. The answering service got a hold of the person on call and she walked me threw it. All I can say is "don't give up". Anne did not have any body weight to lose and she hadn't eaten since 3pm that afternoon. Everything turned out OK.

Shortly after Queenie and Anne came to us we left for a family vacation. We couldn't take them because there wasn't time to get a court approval and we wouldn't have been able to care for Anne the way she need to be cared for. Thank goodness, our good friend was able to take the girls in and care for them while we were gone. It didn't go off without a hitch though. Hours after we left, Anne got sick and ended up at the hospital. It wasn't a good situation for our friend. The foster agency wasn't a big help either. Everything turned out fine within two days. I was very thankful for having a friend I could count on (I still count on her). After we returned from vacation I had to set up therapy for Anne. She received Speech, Physical and Occupational therapy every week. Each therapy was done by a different person, on a different day. I am glad for the experience but it was not an experience I would want to repeat. Queenie and Anne were with us for a little over a month but looking back, it seemed like longer. They made quite an impact on our lives. We are very thankful we have healthy children. The girls went back to their parents for about two weeks and last I heard they were with their grandma.

Two weeks after the girls left we received a call about three sisters. The youngest was six and the oldest sixteen. The middle girl was barely a teenager. The two youngest ones were removed from the home because of an issue the oldest one had with one of the parents. So needless to say, the middle child, "Tiara", did not speak to her older sister, "JoLo" unless it was necessary. In fact, Tiara only talked to anyone when it was necessary. However, she was very good at taking care of "the little one". It was apparent that she was used to getting her sister up and ready for school every morning. Tiara and the little one were only with us for about two weeks before they were returned to their mother. JoLo stayed.

JoLo is very different than KayKay. JoLo talks a lot and isn't afraid to share her feelings. She spends time in her room but also spends time with the family. She treats Princess and Little Prince as if they are her little sister and brother. She is responsible but it's also apparent she has been sheltered from others. It is alleged that one of her parents did unspeakable things to her for the last four years so keeping her sheltered kept her from talking about it and telling others. I say "alleged" because the parent has not been charged with any crime. I believe JoLo with be with us until she ages out or she is moved to a relatives home. Either way she will be happy.

Another foster parent aggravation; JoLo did not start therapy for over four months after she was removed. In this parents opinion, she will need therapy for years.

Princess is improving all the time. Her one teacher actually said she's amazing. Yesterday, DH called me at work to tell me something exciting. I've asked him not to call at a certain time but he couldn't wait. He called to tell me that after asking Princess if mama made the cookies for her, she said "mama" and then ran off laughing. We haven't heard many words from her in months. I could almost say she hasn't really spoke anything in months except jibberish. Maybe one day she will just start talking but until then we will communicate with sign language and pictures.

I haven't gotten very far on her picture book. I have the binder, the pictures, and the velcro. I have even went into her classroom to see how they made their book. The teachers gave me some good ideas. I will start with only things she likes to do and things she likes to eat. I'm also going to take pictures of places we go so I can show her where we're going before we leave. I have to get it done before we get more kids!

We got a call yesterday (DH did), from the agency, about a sibling group of four. We don't know exactly how old they are but we believe they are between the ages of 6 months and 6 years. The oldest is the only one in school. We know it's a mix of boys and girls but we're not sure how many of each. We are taking them in on Monday some time. Monday is going to be really busy.

We have decided to throw Little Prince a birthday party for his third birthday. We don't know if he's ever had a birthday party before but hopefully he will remember this one for a while. I have invited two friends from work that have children about his age. Even though the party will be a few days after his actually birthday, it will still be great for him. I think I will try to make a Mickey Mouse cake and get some balloons. I will have to make some GFCF cupcakes for Princess. I figure I can freeze all but two them to keep for later. Anyway, I have a lot of stuff to do next week.

Hopefully DH and I can get the rest of the stuff out of our house we are trying to sell. The realitor told us we should either lower the price or do some painting. The house is in good shape but I painted in colors we like and they are not neutral. The living room is dark green and the master bedroom is kind of a pink/mauve color. So I will try to get over there in the middle of the week to paint those two rooms at least.

That's Nasty too.

The word "Nasty" can refer to all kinds of things. Little Prince calls food he doesn't like - nasty, or messy stuff - nasty and anything he thinks looks weird is "nasty". Well the other day, DH and Little Prince come home after taking Princess to school. Little Prince went running for the door but DH said "wait while Daddy finishes his nasty (meaning cigarette). So, they walked around for a few minutes, looking for some trim, in the garage. After about two minutes, Little Prince looked up at DH and asked "are you done pooping, Daddy?" DH told him that Daddy didn't poop and Little Prince said "_(I)_ didn't poop either". I couldn't stop laugh when DH told me that. You wouldn't believe what comes out of his mouth sometimes.

Little Prince still has it in the back of his mind that we are either moving without him or he's moving without us. This morning DH packed up most of his closet (I haven't started on mine!). Little Prince asked him what he was doing and DH told him he was packing his cloths so we can move to the new house. DH looked down at LP and he was standing there with his little lip sticking out - pouting. DH told him we are not moving without him and he brighten right up. I don't think LP will feel comfortable until we are all moved. Then we will have to deal with foster kids coming and going. We are hoping that LP understands that when the kids leave that he won't be leaving.

The court appointed person for the kids, asked us if we had started the adoption process. We haven't yet. Actually, I think we will wait until the termination of parental rights are done before we proceed. We have no doubt that we will be adopting them but the kid's therapist brought up a good point; sometimes if the adoption process has been started before TPR, the courts look at it as if the foster parents and the county are not for reunification. We are not really in any hurry right now anyway. As far as we are concerned, they are our children already.

We have already started Christmas shopping. We bought quite a few puzzles and educational games and toys. Since Princess likes music, we bought a set of music makers too. Oh, and DH order Princess a tricycle! When she started school, she couldn't ride at all, then she could peddle but not steer. Now she takes off and you practically have to jog to keep up with her. We didn't know her progress until her teacher let us borrow a tricycle for the weekend. She had a ball, riding up and down the sidewalk. We don't think LP will have a problem once he has one that he can reach the peddles! I told DH we can get him one and put blocks on the peddles until he grows a little more.

November 23, 2008

I picked up the car seat today. It's nice looking and new. I haven't tried to put it in the SUV yet. I think I will wait until after we are certified. I also made copies of our birth certificates, our marriage license and our social security cards. I kind of screwed up at work the other day, I was looking at the car seat online and MFF was seating next to me and made a comment about getting a child and the possibility of adoption. Well, it was right before shift change so there were a lot of people in the room. One of my coworkers over heard and asked my if we were getting a baby? MFF quickly jumped in and told her that we were becomming foster parents before I could even say "maybe, don't know". Everyone else started asking question all at once. I didn't go into detail. DH & I were trying to keep it on the "down low" just in case it doesn't work out. I haven't even told any of my family except my sister. I'm sure there will be lots of questions at work tomorrow.